Sunday, January 28, 2007

My Sign of Apocalypse

Hello all. IT has been a while. I have thought about many posts before this one, but this needed to be said. America, what the F is wrong with you? I am talking about the box office in the month of January 2007. First of all, "Stomp the Yard." According to, this is the plot: DJ, a troubled youth from Los Angeles attending the historically black Truth University in Atlanta, Georgia. When adapting to his new environment proves difficult, DJ finds solace in joining a struggling fraternity where he begins implementing his street-style dance moves in an attempt to help the step team win the coveted National Step Show Championship. Cmon! It's like You Got Served mixed with Rollerball mixed with Finding Forrester. All crappy movies. Stomp the Yard was the number 1 movie in America, for two weeks in a row. TWO! WE have to stop letting teenagers who watch MTV go to the theatres, because they are ruining cinema. At a time were there are Oscar movies out, including Pan's Labyrinth, people decide to see this piece of crap instead. Lord help us... Then there was this week. Movies like Smokin Aces, Freedom Writers, and Catch and Release came out. You would think that one of those movies would come out. The action fans, the drama fans, or the women. By the way, Smokin Aces is good. Ryan Reynolds and Jeremy Piven are outstanding. Reynolds/Piven in '08. Anyways. None of those movies were the winner. The winner: Epic Movie. Yes! Epic Fn Movie. From the creators of Scary Movie, and two of the six writers of Date Movie, made this movie. The plot: It's Scary Movie or Date Movie, but with Epic movies instead. Like Supermand, Pirates, Narnia, etc etc, and even Borat for some reason. Why is Borat an epic movie? Idiots.. Has anyone seen Date Movie? It's not funny, at all. Me and my friends watched it, because that TOO was #1 at the box office. We laughed, maybe, maybe, 3 times. It sucked donkey nuts. Apocalypse people. It is coming. Why would people see this? And over those other movies too? What the heck?! I mean seriously, why would anyone want to see it. Are teenagers THAT bored and have nothing else to see? It is just sad. Help us lord. Please... And comment on this, because I am a lose for words. I can't believe this has happened. Stomp the Yard has made 50 million, and Pans has made 14. AHHHHHHHH Ok I'm done. Keep it crazy.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

My 2nd Post

Now I did say that I would be posting later on this week, but I had to post something else. I post on Blogspot and MySpace. It was encouraged by friends so I did it. Anyways, after posting my latest blog about Minnesota, I decided to take a look at who subscribes to my blog. I thought it was still just Anderson. I also saw that Worzala and Mike have also subscribed. I was quite honored and thankful. But I saw the last name that confused me. Zach. Now, not knowning any Zach's myself, I decided to click on it. It was Zach Braff. Yes, The Zach Braff. Star of NBC's Scrubs and my favorite movie of all time Garden State. I told my roommates. They said it was an imposter. No, it was Zach's real site, where he blogs himself and puts up updates on great artists like Joshua Radin and such. I am speechless. It means that Zach had to log into MySpace, look at blogs, go onto my profile, and click "subscribe to blog." Now I don't know if he looks or reads it, but I am honored by that. A man who I have taken so much from comedically and made the only movie that changed my life once I left the theatre has viewed my MySpace page, and that makes me happy. Do I hope one day he reponds to a blog or says hi on the space? Of course. It would be the greatest thing in the world. If he doesn't, that is fine. I know that when he looks at email it says New Blog from John Egan. Tonight, I am happy. Thank you Mike, Matt, and thank you Zach. This comedian is happy.

My, Eh?

Hello all. Happy New Year. Yes, it has been a while and a lot has happened. New Years, several trips to the Sha, and also a trip to Minnesota. It was a great weekend with many things to talk about, but I will only talk about one. What is John? The mall? Bars in Minneapolis? IKEA? Power hour? Nay. It was a cranky old woman who cut in front of me on the shuttle back to the hotel. Backstory. When you get dropped off at the Mall of America by a shuttle, they pick people up at 2 times every hour. 5 after and 35 after. So we were in the mall from 11 am till 9 pm. Let me tell you, that is a very long time. Most of the time was me and Ken wandering the mall trying to walk past every story. I am sorry to say we did not hit As Seen On TV. Anyways, so we had Bubba Gump Scrimp Co. for dinner, and then decided to go on some rides at Camp Snoopy. I stole a piece of chocolate, shhhhhhh. Anyways, so we left for the shuttles at 8:50 and got outside by 9:03. There were others waiting outside for the shuttle as well, and it was freezing. And not, wow it's cold. Fucking freezin! Anyways, our shuttle came right on time. and we piled into the shuttle. There was a line, and I was at the end. Right before I got onto the bus, a woman and child push in front of me and I gave them a little cough. The woman glares at me and says "We've been waiting outside longer than you." and then pushed herself in front of me. There was a long line and apparantly she was afraid of not getting a spot. Well, I did as well. But that was the thing. "We've been waiting long?" Excuse me? Where do you have the balls to say that? Is it my fault you are a complete idiot and can't read time? No, we planned it perfectly, and if we got in line before you did that is not my fault. And why aren't you outside like we were at the right time? Are you retarded? But John, what if she didn't know the times the shuttles were leaving? Again, not my fault. It takes this much to know when leaving the bus? "Excuse me, when does the shuttle pick up people?" Wow, that took a whole ten seconds. But knowing these people, they probably rushed off the bus to get to AE or Buckle or another stupid store first so their child could get the best stuff. Honestly, I don't get people sometimes. If you read a ever amazing blog from Matt Worzala, we seem to meet and encouter stupid people all the time. Well, I am off to watch The Illusionist. Stay tuned for more blogs, I have some works stories to tell! Keep it crazy.