Thursday, December 14, 2006

My Fiction

Hey all, just wanted to post this piece of fiction I did. It's still in rough draft phase, but I just wanted to post it. Feedback is encouraged. John Egan Steve’s Space The alarm clock went off as Steve’s hand reaches for it in the dark. He finally gets a hold of it as he chucks it against the wall, shattering it. Throwing off his covers he gets out of bed. He hits his head on the low ceiling, like he did most days, cursing to himself and punching the ceiling. He storms out of the bedroom in his pajamas, down the hall and into the kitchen. His grandma was making waffles, and Steve loved the smell of waffles. But it mixed in with the constant smell of leather, and it turned a delicious breakfast smell into vomit from someone with the plague. Steve walked into the kitchen. "Well hello dear" said Grandma. "I’m moving out!" "Well why, did you hit your head again?" "Yes I hit my head again. Probably a concussion. I just can’t live here anymore." "Well why?" "We live in a shoe! I live in the pinky toe area. You got so many kids you don’t even know what to do" "Now when your parents died in that bizarre sloth accident.." "Damn sloths..." "...I swore I’d take care of you kids." "Take care? You feed me broth without bread, then whip, as you say, soundly, and try sending me to bed. What does soundly mean anyways? Because if it means often and with a wrench then good word usage" "Well it’s just how me and your pop-pop handle things." "But why a shoe? We couldn’t get a house? An apartment? I’d take a shanty.” "He complaining about his room again Gram-Gram?" said Will, Steve’s younger brother, as walked into the kitchen eating Life cereal. "Oh, easy for you to say, you live by the shoelaces, you at least get a window!" answered Steve. "Oh hunny, you get plenty of sun." said Grandma. "No. No I don’t. Look at me, I’m paler than Marilyn Manson." said Steve. "Marilyn Monroe was a fantastic woman." "No Grandma, Marilyn Manson. He worships the devil." said Will. "Well that isn’t safe." "And Grandma, have you ever tried to bring a date here? It’s a massive cockblock!" said Steve. "A what?" said Grandma. "A cockblock Grandma. It’s someone or something that prevents girls from getting in Steve’s pants." said Will. "Why would girls want to wear Steve’s pants?" "Nevermind Grandma. Let’s just say it’s hard to get a date living here." "I remember when me and Herb went on our first date..." said Grandma. "See what you did Steve." said Will. "Now we have to hear the first date story again." "...it was all over my dress and..." "Well maybe if I didn’t live in a friggin shoe I wouldn’t complain about it" said Steve. "...and then I put it in my mouth...." "Well it’s all we have after the accident..." said Will. "Damn sloths." said the brothers together. "....and then he stuck his finger in my..." "Grandma!" said Steve disgusted. "...spaghetti. What?" "Oh. Thank god. I almost gavomited in this nightmare." said Steve. "I’m going to my toe." "Don’t forget to wear a raincoat." said Grandma as Steve left through the heel. "What’s wrong with that boy Tommy?" "My name is Willy Grandma." said Will as left the room with his cereal box. There was a knock at the back door as Steve walked down the hall and opened it. It was his best friend Jack Horner, with his usual gift of a plum pie. It smelled awful, but Steve always accepted it and put it in the kitchen for his Grandma. Steve and Jack went into the living room and Steve sat down on the love seat. "So what’s up? You actually want to sit in a chair today?" asked Steve. "Naw, I’m good in the corner. It’s comfortable." answered Jack. "You know I hate plums dude. Why not apple for a change?" "Well Bo keeps making them for me every morning before going to the flock. I’ve gotten used to them. Jack was older than Steve. He had been married for a couple of years now. Steve wasn’t even thinking about marriage yet. Since he accidently made out with his cousin Mary Mary Quite Contrary, his mental status of love was on hiatus. "I need to get out of this place." said Steve. "Why? You are the only person I have ever heard of that lives in a shoe. You are the shoe guy! If you ever had a party you would be the coolest guy I knew." said Jack. "When you and Bo were dating, do you ever think she would want to come over and hang out in a shoe?" "I dunno she gets kind of hot in enclosed spaces." "Well that’s besides the point. My grandparents are looney, I feel cramped all the time and just think it’s time for a change." "Where will you go though? You have no degree, no job, no education. I’m just saying you should plan this out before just jumping into leaving." "Is that Jacky boy?" yelled Grandma from the kitchen. "Yes ma’am." said Jack. "Did you bring me some pie? I think I smell it." "It’s on the stove right next to you Grandma." said Steve. "Oh! There it is. It’s plum this time!" "It’s always plum!” Steve yelled back. He leaned in closer to Steve. "You see what I’m talking about? She is from a different generation, nay, a different planet. I think she was even talking about sex earlier!" "Oh c’mon. She’s your silly old grandma. Everyone’s got a relative like that." said. Jack. "I wish I would have had more relatives to choose from. Damn sloths...." "Hey, no one saw that invasion coming. We all were affected." "I don’t know, I just feel like it’s time to leave. You left home when you were 16 and you turned out fine." "I turned out lucky. Bo is a genius and her dad is loaded. I’m a freelance writer. Do you know another name for that occupation?" "No." "Unemployed." "Oh." "All I’m saying is that sure, you can start planning and figuring out a game plan. But don’t’ just rush into something before having it planned out. It might be embarrassing to live in a shoe, but it would be more humiliating if you left a shoe, then came crawling back to it. "Very true." "Steve? Tommy? I need someone for my sponge bath!" said Grandma. "Willy" shouted Will. "Um...you can crash in the guest room." said Jack. "Thank you." answered Steve as he went to go pack. Jack followed him to help as he shielded his eyes passing by the open bathroom door. "Tommy! Get in here!" yelled Grandma. "It’s Will ya old bag!" said Will. "Don’t make me get the wrench!"

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