Thursday, March 29, 2007

My Lost Re-Animation

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD I love Lost PS, ABC 9pm central time. Anyways The third season started off with a bang off course, but it quickly became disappointing. After Mr. Eko died and a couple of downer episodes, I was starting to lose interest. Most people would have stopped watching it, but I watch it with the ComedyCity people every week, and it's a nice tradition and a way to relax. Anyways, the past three weeks were frickin amazing! Let me go through last night's. Feel free to comment, I would love them. So last night, we saw the story of Nikki and Pilo. Paolo? Who knows. The Lost website wasn't working. Anyways, so we get their backstory. They were the couple that just randomly went to the Pearl with Locke Desmond and Sayid. Everyone went: Who the hell are those people? I don't care! The writers went: Oh, just wait my friends. So it turns out they are conmen, or conpeople I guess? Anyways, they have 8 million dollars worth of diamonds. When the plane crashed, Nikki only cared about the diamonds. So, Paolo hid them when he found them. While seeing their flashback, it turns out they found the yellow plane before anyone else. You know, the plane Boone died in and Eko's brother was in. They found The Pearl, the second hatch that took three seasons to find, they found in a couple of days. Paolo hid the diamonds in the bathroom in the Pearl, also finding both Ben and Judith talking about taking Jack, Sawyer and Kate. So Paolo knew that Ben was an other the whole time, and Ana Lucia and Libby never needed to die and they would have caught Michael. AAAAAA frustrating. But also, it was Jack and Locke's fault as well for not telling everyone about Ben in the hatch. Damn. So, Nikki finds out Paolo is lying, and wants the diamond. Sorry, rewind. Flashback: Arnst! Booyah! Anyways, he talks to Nikki about the Madusa spider. It's poison paralyzes you for 8 hours, and attracts other spiders as well. So, Nikki brings him in the woods and throws the spider on Paolo. He becomes paralyzed, and of course, the other spiders come and bite Nikki as well. Nikki runs to Sawyer and Hurley and collapses, saying: Paralyzed. Hurley thought she said: Paolo lies. So, they assume they are dead until the end when we figure out they are alive. They are in their graves, and Sawyer and Hurley start burying them. Right when Sawyer throws some dirt over Nikki's face, her eyes open. THEY BURIED THEM ALIVE! WHAT! HOLY BALLS! Yes, they buried them alive to a horrible death. But, they sorta were horrible people. In a recent interview, the writers said that Nikki and Paolo were important and realize no one likes them, but we will feel bad for them by the end. OK, so I sorta feel bad. But wow! Buried alive? Who the hell saw that coming? So I get home jacked out of my mind. Erection and all. My roommate also watches the show religiously. "It was gay" "What? How?" "They answer too many questions and don't start any new ones." "What? They get buried alive! He knew about the plane. The Pearl, and about the Others. He told no one." "Stupid." Don't worry, he sucks at TV. This is the guy who hates The Black Donnelly's but is obsessed with "Beauty and the Geek." Still, dumb people are frustrating. Watch Donnelly's by the way. Irish! Wow Lost. Tip of the hat. Tip of the hat. Keep it Crazy.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

My Packer Backer

Celebrating my friends Quarter Century turn, that is 25 years old for those counting at home, we went to the bar where he works. The bar has half price drinks on Mondays, so I decided it would be cheap. It was, and I was actually starstruck for a bit. Green Bay Packers stars Nick Barnett and Noah Herron were at the bar. Now this is fine. I am not used to Packers being at bars in Green Bay, especially the ones I go to. The things that were funny to me were this: Barnett makes millions. Literally millions. Why is he at half price night? Can he not afford full price night? Just funny to me. I love that he was there though, it was cool seeing him in person. Second, he has his own bar. Well, sorta used to. Nick had the Five Six Ultra Lounge. His club has gotten picked on by police in the GB and basically is being shut down for it. I claim a little bit of racism on the GB cops, but that's a subject for another day. Basically, there were a lot of fights and violence around the outside of the club. I just thought it was funny a millionaire with his own bar came to a college bar for half price drinks. Loved it. More to come about my Hooters experience in Pensacola.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

My Storm

Friday, February 09, 2007

My Frustration, Part Deux

Hello all. I don't know if I mentioned this earlier the piece I talked about a long time ago in my blog, "Translation," made it into the One Act Festival at Venture Theatre. I was really excited. I watched it at the dress rehearsal this past Wed, and I loved it. Pat, the director, did a fantastic job with it. It got some good laughs. And then the show ended. Of course I got some "Good jobs" and "It was funny" things, but that has been the most positive thing yet. We all hung out at Ken's as usual to watch Lost. Everyone talked about their favorite piece and I just listened quietly. Mostly every piece was mentioned by someone it was one of their favorites, except mine. It was no big deal, because I realized I was a first time writer for this and it could take a couple of times. WE have one theatre reviewer in the GB area. On Thursday, the person mentioned the artile in the paper. Here is a link: So, I was pumped because my name was in the paper. It had never really been there before, so it was exciting, I will probably frame or something stupid like that. Then, the review came out today. Link: If you compare the two reviews, you will notice something. My play is not mentioned. Not the original concept or the modernistic dialogue, fucking nothing. Oh, I'm sorry, they say: "Some have dramatic touches," which deals with mine. Every other piece is mentioned by name except mine and "Destiny." Hmmm Ironically, I think those are the two pieces by new writers. This is frustrating. You can't write one more sentence about something? Already, whoever reads it is going to think my piece is forgetful. I guess it is, but personally I put a lot of work into it, to make it something almost not mine to please everyone else. If I wanted to make it how I wanted, it probably wouldn't have gotten in. I mean this won't stop me from writing. I just understand the hatred of this man that most people do. He disrespected me, and now whoever reads the paper can't even see what the play is about. I guess mine is too modern or edgy for the awful writer. No, really, the person is bad. "Space doesn't allow comment on all the plays" Bull. I have written for a newspaper for 4 years on GB, I know how it works. Two more sentences wouldn't have done anything. It is an excuse. I don't mind bad attention. No attention is what kills me. Right now, it has completely taken my proudness of my piece away. I guess I wait for comments. Ok, well Anderson will comment. Don't understand why my piece is so damn forgetful. Keep it crazy.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

My Sign of Apocalypse

Hello all. IT has been a while. I have thought about many posts before this one, but this needed to be said. America, what the F is wrong with you? I am talking about the box office in the month of January 2007. First of all, "Stomp the Yard." According to, this is the plot: DJ, a troubled youth from Los Angeles attending the historically black Truth University in Atlanta, Georgia. When adapting to his new environment proves difficult, DJ finds solace in joining a struggling fraternity where he begins implementing his street-style dance moves in an attempt to help the step team win the coveted National Step Show Championship. Cmon! It's like You Got Served mixed with Rollerball mixed with Finding Forrester. All crappy movies. Stomp the Yard was the number 1 movie in America, for two weeks in a row. TWO! WE have to stop letting teenagers who watch MTV go to the theatres, because they are ruining cinema. At a time were there are Oscar movies out, including Pan's Labyrinth, people decide to see this piece of crap instead. Lord help us... Then there was this week. Movies like Smokin Aces, Freedom Writers, and Catch and Release came out. You would think that one of those movies would come out. The action fans, the drama fans, or the women. By the way, Smokin Aces is good. Ryan Reynolds and Jeremy Piven are outstanding. Reynolds/Piven in '08. Anyways. None of those movies were the winner. The winner: Epic Movie. Yes! Epic Fn Movie. From the creators of Scary Movie, and two of the six writers of Date Movie, made this movie. The plot: It's Scary Movie or Date Movie, but with Epic movies instead. Like Supermand, Pirates, Narnia, etc etc, and even Borat for some reason. Why is Borat an epic movie? Idiots.. Has anyone seen Date Movie? It's not funny, at all. Me and my friends watched it, because that TOO was #1 at the box office. We laughed, maybe, maybe, 3 times. It sucked donkey nuts. Apocalypse people. It is coming. Why would people see this? And over those other movies too? What the heck?! I mean seriously, why would anyone want to see it. Are teenagers THAT bored and have nothing else to see? It is just sad. Help us lord. Please... And comment on this, because I am a lose for words. I can't believe this has happened. Stomp the Yard has made 50 million, and Pans has made 14. AHHHHHHHH Ok I'm done. Keep it crazy.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

My 2nd Post

Now I did say that I would be posting later on this week, but I had to post something else. I post on Blogspot and MySpace. It was encouraged by friends so I did it. Anyways, after posting my latest blog about Minnesota, I decided to take a look at who subscribes to my blog. I thought it was still just Anderson. I also saw that Worzala and Mike have also subscribed. I was quite honored and thankful. But I saw the last name that confused me. Zach. Now, not knowning any Zach's myself, I decided to click on it. It was Zach Braff. Yes, The Zach Braff. Star of NBC's Scrubs and my favorite movie of all time Garden State. I told my roommates. They said it was an imposter. No, it was Zach's real site, where he blogs himself and puts up updates on great artists like Joshua Radin and such. I am speechless. It means that Zach had to log into MySpace, look at blogs, go onto my profile, and click "subscribe to blog." Now I don't know if he looks or reads it, but I am honored by that. A man who I have taken so much from comedically and made the only movie that changed my life once I left the theatre has viewed my MySpace page, and that makes me happy. Do I hope one day he reponds to a blog or says hi on the space? Of course. It would be the greatest thing in the world. If he doesn't, that is fine. I know that when he looks at email it says New Blog from John Egan. Tonight, I am happy. Thank you Mike, Matt, and thank you Zach. This comedian is happy.

My, Eh?

Hello all. Happy New Year. Yes, it has been a while and a lot has happened. New Years, several trips to the Sha, and also a trip to Minnesota. It was a great weekend with many things to talk about, but I will only talk about one. What is John? The mall? Bars in Minneapolis? IKEA? Power hour? Nay. It was a cranky old woman who cut in front of me on the shuttle back to the hotel. Backstory. When you get dropped off at the Mall of America by a shuttle, they pick people up at 2 times every hour. 5 after and 35 after. So we were in the mall from 11 am till 9 pm. Let me tell you, that is a very long time. Most of the time was me and Ken wandering the mall trying to walk past every story. I am sorry to say we did not hit As Seen On TV. Anyways, so we had Bubba Gump Scrimp Co. for dinner, and then decided to go on some rides at Camp Snoopy. I stole a piece of chocolate, shhhhhhh. Anyways, so we left for the shuttles at 8:50 and got outside by 9:03. There were others waiting outside for the shuttle as well, and it was freezing. And not, wow it's cold. Fucking freezin! Anyways, our shuttle came right on time. and we piled into the shuttle. There was a line, and I was at the end. Right before I got onto the bus, a woman and child push in front of me and I gave them a little cough. The woman glares at me and says "We've been waiting outside longer than you." and then pushed herself in front of me. There was a long line and apparantly she was afraid of not getting a spot. Well, I did as well. But that was the thing. "We've been waiting long?" Excuse me? Where do you have the balls to say that? Is it my fault you are a complete idiot and can't read time? No, we planned it perfectly, and if we got in line before you did that is not my fault. And why aren't you outside like we were at the right time? Are you retarded? But John, what if she didn't know the times the shuttles were leaving? Again, not my fault. It takes this much to know when leaving the bus? "Excuse me, when does the shuttle pick up people?" Wow, that took a whole ten seconds. But knowing these people, they probably rushed off the bus to get to AE or Buckle or another stupid store first so their child could get the best stuff. Honestly, I don't get people sometimes. If you read a ever amazing blog from Matt Worzala, we seem to meet and encouter stupid people all the time. Well, I am off to watch The Illusionist. Stay tuned for more blogs, I have some works stories to tell! Keep it crazy.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

My Fiction

Hey all, just wanted to post this piece of fiction I did. It's still in rough draft phase, but I just wanted to post it. Feedback is encouraged. John Egan Steve’s Space The alarm clock went off as Steve’s hand reaches for it in the dark. He finally gets a hold of it as he chucks it against the wall, shattering it. Throwing off his covers he gets out of bed. He hits his head on the low ceiling, like he did most days, cursing to himself and punching the ceiling. He storms out of the bedroom in his pajamas, down the hall and into the kitchen. His grandma was making waffles, and Steve loved the smell of waffles. But it mixed in with the constant smell of leather, and it turned a delicious breakfast smell into vomit from someone with the plague. Steve walked into the kitchen. "Well hello dear" said Grandma. "I’m moving out!" "Well why, did you hit your head again?" "Yes I hit my head again. Probably a concussion. I just can’t live here anymore." "Well why?" "We live in a shoe! I live in the pinky toe area. You got so many kids you don’t even know what to do" "Now when your parents died in that bizarre sloth accident.." "Damn sloths..." "...I swore I’d take care of you kids." "Take care? You feed me broth without bread, then whip, as you say, soundly, and try sending me to bed. What does soundly mean anyways? Because if it means often and with a wrench then good word usage" "Well it’s just how me and your pop-pop handle things." "But why a shoe? We couldn’t get a house? An apartment? I’d take a shanty.” "He complaining about his room again Gram-Gram?" said Will, Steve’s younger brother, as walked into the kitchen eating Life cereal. "Oh, easy for you to say, you live by the shoelaces, you at least get a window!" answered Steve. "Oh hunny, you get plenty of sun." said Grandma. "No. No I don’t. Look at me, I’m paler than Marilyn Manson." said Steve. "Marilyn Monroe was a fantastic woman." "No Grandma, Marilyn Manson. He worships the devil." said Will. "Well that isn’t safe." "And Grandma, have you ever tried to bring a date here? It’s a massive cockblock!" said Steve. "A what?" said Grandma. "A cockblock Grandma. It’s someone or something that prevents girls from getting in Steve’s pants." said Will. "Why would girls want to wear Steve’s pants?" "Nevermind Grandma. Let’s just say it’s hard to get a date living here." "I remember when me and Herb went on our first date..." said Grandma. "See what you did Steve." said Will. "Now we have to hear the first date story again." " was all over my dress and..." "Well maybe if I didn’t live in a friggin shoe I wouldn’t complain about it" said Steve. "...and then I put it in my mouth...." "Well it’s all we have after the accident..." said Will. "Damn sloths." said the brothers together. "....and then he stuck his finger in my..." "Grandma!" said Steve disgusted. "...spaghetti. What?" "Oh. Thank god. I almost gavomited in this nightmare." said Steve. "I’m going to my toe." "Don’t forget to wear a raincoat." said Grandma as Steve left through the heel. "What’s wrong with that boy Tommy?" "My name is Willy Grandma." said Will as left the room with his cereal box. There was a knock at the back door as Steve walked down the hall and opened it. It was his best friend Jack Horner, with his usual gift of a plum pie. It smelled awful, but Steve always accepted it and put it in the kitchen for his Grandma. Steve and Jack went into the living room and Steve sat down on the love seat. "So what’s up? You actually want to sit in a chair today?" asked Steve. "Naw, I’m good in the corner. It’s comfortable." answered Jack. "You know I hate plums dude. Why not apple for a change?" "Well Bo keeps making them for me every morning before going to the flock. I’ve gotten used to them. Jack was older than Steve. He had been married for a couple of years now. Steve wasn’t even thinking about marriage yet. Since he accidently made out with his cousin Mary Mary Quite Contrary, his mental status of love was on hiatus. "I need to get out of this place." said Steve. "Why? You are the only person I have ever heard of that lives in a shoe. You are the shoe guy! If you ever had a party you would be the coolest guy I knew." said Jack. "When you and Bo were dating, do you ever think she would want to come over and hang out in a shoe?" "I dunno she gets kind of hot in enclosed spaces." "Well that’s besides the point. My grandparents are looney, I feel cramped all the time and just think it’s time for a change." "Where will you go though? You have no degree, no job, no education. I’m just saying you should plan this out before just jumping into leaving." "Is that Jacky boy?" yelled Grandma from the kitchen. "Yes ma’am." said Jack. "Did you bring me some pie? I think I smell it." "It’s on the stove right next to you Grandma." said Steve. "Oh! There it is. It’s plum this time!" "It’s always plum!” Steve yelled back. He leaned in closer to Steve. "You see what I’m talking about? She is from a different generation, nay, a different planet. I think she was even talking about sex earlier!" "Oh c’mon. She’s your silly old grandma. Everyone’s got a relative like that." said. Jack. "I wish I would have had more relatives to choose from. Damn sloths...." "Hey, no one saw that invasion coming. We all were affected." "I don’t know, I just feel like it’s time to leave. You left home when you were 16 and you turned out fine." "I turned out lucky. Bo is a genius and her dad is loaded. I’m a freelance writer. Do you know another name for that occupation?" "No." "Unemployed." "Oh." "All I’m saying is that sure, you can start planning and figuring out a game plan. But don’t’ just rush into something before having it planned out. It might be embarrassing to live in a shoe, but it would be more humiliating if you left a shoe, then came crawling back to it. "Very true." "Steve? Tommy? I need someone for my sponge bath!" said Grandma. "Willy" shouted Will. " can crash in the guest room." said Jack. "Thank you." answered Steve as he went to go pack. Jack followed him to help as he shielded his eyes passing by the open bathroom door. "Tommy! Get in here!" yelled Grandma. "It’s Will ya old bag!" said Will. "Don’t make me get the wrench!"