Monday, December 11, 2006

My Afternoon (A Tale of Mike Eserkain)

So I have been sick for over a week. Is this normal. Answer: No. No it's not. But onto Sunday afternoon. I was simply suppose to be seeing Jackass 2 with good ole Mike E. It ended up an adventure. Me and Mike walked into the East Town mall. Mike explained to me the pure joy he has of bringing mcdonald's food into movies and eating them. While I got sick thinking about the McDonald's I had the night before. So we walk in for a 3:05 movie. We look and realize it is at 3:50 instead. Mike curses his dislyexia (spelling?) and we realize we have an hour. So we sit down and Mike is quite upset he has to eat his McDonalds on a booth. He puts down his wallet and bag and eats away. Mike calls Tony to see if he wants to come. He does. So Mike and I walk around hickish East Town Mall. Apparently it's fair day, so comics and Packer appearel are available to buy. Including, football cards in a paper bag marked:Football. Oh yes, I want those. Perhaps one of them has a Favre rookie card. Anyways, so Mike and I wonder into the hick GameStop and look around. We go around to the arcade games and try to figure out how many times it would need to be played until he made his money back. For a pong type game, it was 1000 plays, so 2 plays a weekend. We decide it can be done! Buy we won't buy it. So we wonder into Bed, Bath and Beyond. For those of you who have read my article about The Buckle, you will know they are nazis. They clinge to you every second asking if you are ok and if they can help you. 3B, yes I call is 3B, is WORSE. Seven different people came up to me and asked if they could help. Did you know those are 3 for 10? Yes They are nice I need one. Did you know those are 3 for 10 I alread know. My sister doesn't need 3 cleanser soaps. Would you like a bag I am not carrying a bag in this store. My hands hold soap and shower gel just fine. Did you know those shower gels are 4 for 35? Nope And you can get that fancy box Wow(sarcastically) I know. I don't want a box Did you know those are 3 for 10? Did you know those wallflowers are for 2 for 20 No, but I don't care. Please check me out. Cheryl, did you tell him those were 3 for 10? And so on. I know, you want to kill yourself. So I finally make my overpriced purchase (you better be happy sister!) Wait, if she reads this she will know what I got. Oh well. So Tony joins us, and after another tour of comics and video games we can finally get Tony away from his inner-nerd and walk towards the theater. So we are feet away from the movie. Finally! Freedom! I look behind and Mike has a sudden look of shock. He frisks hismelf and says the deadly words. "Where's my wallet." Anyone catch that? I never said he put his wallet back! Ha I'm clever. Dammit I bet Worzala caught that. Anyways, we begin a THIRD tour around the mall, Mike checking and asking every store if they've seen a wallet. We search the area we were sitting at like we were searching for naked women. Tony even dug in the garbage. No luck. Mike then expands he had two check and 200 bucks cash in the wallet. I had my doubts, because if you saw the type of people in there that day, you would think that as well. I felt bad. So Mike told us to watch the movie while he went home and cancelled his credit cards. Jackass 2 was hilarious, but a little piece was taken away because Mike was out 200 dollars. It was sad. So Mike comes roaring in near the end of the movie. He presented the wallet, and the fat 8 year old next to us, that was roughly 500 lbs I think, shut up for a second. A group of teenagers had found the wallet. TEENAGERS found it and called him. I was shocked. Utterly shocked. Honestly, if I was 15, ok 22, and found a wallet, I probably would have returned it. Cashless. I know, I suck. Anyways, he got it back with everything inside. He even offered the kids some money, and they said no. To quote Anderson "A Christmas Miracle!" I guess it was. The world constantly surprises I guess. Tragedy averted. Perhaps we will get free soda again at CC! No, no. That is still the publics fault. Prove me wrong. Anyways, I will post later, but alas I have work to do. I have an outline for the play I am working on. And, I have rough writings for all of the scenes but one. Next up, getting them from paper to computer, then revise, revise, write club, revise, revise, write club, etc. Seacrest out.


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